En joke tak!

ctv er _ikke_ fedtet med sine point!

Nææææh...? *GG*

Bondemanden spurgte sin kone om de ikke skulle bolle, konen sagde; Nej, drengen kommer snart hjem!
\"jamen, vi sætter bare opvaskemaskinen igang, så hører han os ikke\" Svaret var stadig nej, og bondemanden traskede sur ud på marken. Da drengen kom hjem sagde hans mor: \"Gå ud til din far i marken og sig at vi kan sætte opvaskemaskinen igang alligevel\", Det gjorde drengen. Da han kom ud i marken og fortalte sin far det, sagde bondemanden \"Du kan hilse din mor og sige jeg har vasket op i hånden!\"

HAHA

Gentype........Funktion

Fotogen........Bestemmende for ens udseende.
Hydrogen.......Folk med dette gen er normalt gode svømmere.
Nitrogen.......Ses især hos hyperaktive mennesker.
Oxygen.........Har man dette gen, bliver man efter al sandsynlighed ilter.
Heterogen......Siger sig selv - giver folk interesse for det modsatte køn.
Homogen........Giver folk interesse for eget køn. (*)
Nogen..........Folk med dette gen er typiske nej-sigere i alle situationer.
Autogen........Trafikgenet. Kræves for at få kørekort i mange lande.
Muggen.........Gør folk negative.
Nøgen..........Folk med dette gen vil altid miste sine nøgler.
Søgen..........Findes hos alle kaptajner og matroser.
Lagen..........Alle dygtige sangere har dette gen.
Helgen.........Genet som enhver spillefugl burde have.
Higen..........Gen for humoristisk sans.
Overlegen......Folk med dette gen forstår ikke \"stop mens legen er god\".
Morgen.........Dette gen gør folk til gode forældre.
Jørgen.........Ses ofte hos dumme eller tåbelige personer.
Megen..........Værre end Jørgen. Først isoleret hos Mette Edeltorp.
Bergen.........Dette gen gør folk religiøse.
Bagagen........Folk med dette er helt fantastiske til at bage brød og kager

A pool salesman, Hal, had to travel cross country for a meeting with one
of his suppliers. This entailed leaving his wife, Vanessa, alone for four
days. This worried Hal, since he had caught Vanessa eyeing men on and off
for the last couple of months. He decided to go down to the mall. They had
this neat little sex shop there where he could buy her some sort of playtoy,
in hopes of diverting her sexual energy.
The next day he went there on his lunchbreak. He opens the door and is
met immediately by a little chinese man. \"Hewwo, how may I help you?\". \"I\'m
going out of town next week, and I don\'t trust my wife by herself. What can
you give me to occupy her while I am gone, so she doesn\'t find another man?\"
The little man thinks a second, and then his face lights up, \"Oh! I have
perfect cure for woman who be horny!\" He goes back through a beaded curtain,
and returns a minute later with a dusty, gray shoe-like box, grinning from
ear to ear. \"This exactly what you need.\" Hal looks at the box, so far
unimpressed. The little man opens the box and moves over a bit into the
light. Hal peers inside, and sees what looks like an ordinary dildo. \"What\'s
so special about that, I can get that anywhere,\" Hal says. The little man\'s
grin gets even bigger. \"No No silly American, this Voodoo dick.\"
\"Voodoo dick, what the hell is Voodoo dick?\", says Hal. \"You watch closely,\"
replies the little man, and then exclaims \"Voodoo dick, the door!\"
And to Hal\'s amazement, the dildo slowly levitates out of the box, and heads
for the door. When it gets to the door, it lunges back and forth and back
and forth at it, reducing it to splinters until nothing is left of it. It
then returns to the box and floats gently inside.
After witnessing this, Hal, in total amazement, says \"I must have it!
It\'s perfect! How much is it?\"
\"Two thousand dollar\", says the little man.
\"Two thousand! That\'s highway robbery!\" says Hal.
\"OK Mr., if you no want...\"
\"No No, OK, I\'ll take it\", concedes Hal.
\"Good\", says the little man. \"Will that be cash or Visa?\"
\"Sheesh.....\", says Hal.

Hal gets home that evening, and his wife meets him at the door. \"What\'s
that in the box?\" asks Vanessa. \"Oh nothing\" says Hal.
\"Please tell me. Please, please, please....\"
\"OK, it\'s for you, a special present.\" Hal says, and opens the box. Vanessa
glances inside and sees the dildo. \"Hal, I already have...oops, I mean, gee
what is it?\"
\"It\'s a Voodoo dick! When I\'m gone, and you get real horny, just open this
box, and say \'Voodoo dick - my pussy.\' and you\'ll be completely satisfied\"
Hal says.
\"Hmmm.....what will happen?\" asks Vanessa.
\"You\'ll see...you\'ll see...\"

Two days later, Hal\'s on his trip. Vanessa is getting real horny. She
thinks \"Gee, that man that cleans pools for Hal might be interested...nah,
I\'ll try out this Voodoo dick thingamabob.\" She goes and gets the box, opens
it up, and peers inside. She sets the box down, and gets undressed and sits
back on the bed. She reached part way into the box, and thinks for a moment,
and draws her hand back out. \"Voodoo dick, my pussy!\" she says.
Voodoo dick floats out of the box, and heads right for her crotch. It gets
to her, and enters her, lunging back and forth. She lays back on the bed,
thinking that this is the most incredible thing she has ever seen, or
*felt*. She has one orgasm, two, three, and it\'s still going. How does she
get it to stop? Four...five...\"Oh gees\" she thinks, I have to get this thing
to stop.
She gets up, starts for the phone, then thinks. \"Nah, I\'ll have to drive
to the hospital, they\'ll know how to stop it.\"
She puts a dress on, gets the keys to the car, and heads out, all the while
Voodoo dick is still going at her. She\'s in the car driving down the road,
having her sixth, no seventh orgasm, trying to concentrate on the road. She
looks in her mirror, and sees flashing red and blue. \"Oh shit! A damn cop.\"
She pulls over slowly.
The cop walks up to the car. \"Good evening, may I see your licence, proof
of insurance, and registration, please?\"
\"S-s-sure officer....it\'s r-r-r-right here.\" She hands it to him.
\"Have you been drinking tonight lady?\"
\"N-n-n-no, I haven\'t O-o-o-officer. I have to get t-t-to the h-h-hospital.\"
\"Are you sick? What\'s the problem?\" the cop says.
\"I have a Voodoo dick in my pussy that won\'t come out.\"
\"A what?\" the cop asks again.
\"A Voodoo dick.....p-p-p-please....\"
The cop thinks about it for a second. Now he\'s seen it all, he thinks. He
looks at her and says \"VOODOO DICK MY ASS!\"

Hvad er ligheden mellem en is og en elefant ?

De starter begge med i for elefanten hedder IB

ttt

Eller:
Hvad er ligheden mellem en is og en elefant ?

De starter begge med i, undtagen elefanten...

Copy - Paste sucks....

CTV!

Fico-->Din er kommet op til overvejelse.. *G* Sort humor er noget jeg kan lide.. heh! *G*

CTV!

OK, sort humor comming up:

Hvordan får du en kat til at sige som en hund?

Hælder benzin over den og sætter en tændstik til. WOF!!!!!!

Hvordan får man en hund til at sige som en kat?

Man kommer den i dybfryseren og skærer den over med en rundsav. IIIIIIAAAAAAVVVVVVVV!!!!

P.S. De ord der står med stort skal man sige højt for at få det fulde udbytte af jokes\'ne. Hvornår kommer der egentlig lyde på eksperten? Der er virkelig en feature man savner med et spm. som dette.

To elefanter var oppe at flyve, så faldt den anden ned i en bagerforretning og sagde godt min far ikke er mure

Hvad er ligheden på en blondine og en hund??

There was these 3 programmers standing in the urinal.

The first programmer to finish vent over and washed his hands, then carefully dried them
using one fistfull of paper towels after the other. \"At Microsoft© we learn to be thorough\"
he said.

The second programmer finished, washed his hands and painstakingly dried his hands
with a single paper towel. \"At Intel© we learn to be thorough and economical\" he said.

The third programmer finished, buttoned his fly and vent straight out the door saying: \"At
Tandem© we do not pee on our hands\".

mvh JakobA (hvad gør man ikke for et point)